I have always had a cheeky yet sceptical relationship with my “guys upstairs” as I call them. Cannot tell you if they are all male but they work as a group and come in many guises, so I just say the Guys Upstairs.
My first encounter was most likely in my younger years. I had a feverish fascination for all things different and mystical. Not sure, I knew what it was all about but I had the curiosity to seek more than I truly understood.
A love for astrology was my first passion to the esoteric world, followed by short talks with my Nan who would drop some fascinating conversations about the every 7 years life change! I am sure she was referring to the 7-year itch. The period in one’s life, when we head off when we know we have outgrown a situation. Not to be confused with that 9 year cycle that often erupts in the numerology.
Over time, I just felt, I instantly knew or had that sensation of seeing before it truly appeared. Bit weird at first sitting in a room and knowing you had experienced this before or knowing the outcome before it begun.
The teen years really opened my eyes to my soft and compassionate sides. Before that, I felt like I was brash and bold and had to stand up for myself. I often would be the one others came to sort their lives, hear their concerns or just be there.
I never knew what or how my advice came through but somehow it seemed to work. It appeared be beneficial to those who needed that guidance at that time.
Into my early twenties, I felt the urge in wanting to delve deeper. I discovered cartomancy and the art of reading playing cards. Coupled with my passion for astrology and numerology I was unlocking some very familiar areas in my path.
Familiar? Yes because it was so natural, I felt it was within my DNA, the connection was a symbolic awakening for my work with spirit.my experiences with clairvoyance begun to open up bigger than Ben Hur.
I had no one to talk to really about it at this time as I was barely understanding the “am I weird or what feeling?” Walking into a room and just knowing that one vibe was enough to see the energy unfold before my eyes.
The conversations with every day people and hearing their words spoken yet I could hear a completely different story evolving beneath the words and facades.
I was hearing the truth between their words. I could hear the real issues emerging behind their smiles and their actions of normalcy. I was tapping into a pain, a fear, a loss, a challenge. I was feeling them from the inside out and connected to their energy like it was my own. I had no idea what was happening I just knew I was feeling like I was invading their personal space and it was not normal. I could close my eyes and hear them speak but hear a very different message.
I have always respected other people’s space. My ability is one I base on ethical behaviour and conduct. Nevertheless, even at times that was tested over the years, when in my own turmoil or emotional hole. I had to always listen as I was taught by my guys upstairs. Hear what is not being said. ” listen to the truth.” even in my own thoughts I still hear the truth even when i want to fool myself into not wanting to hear it. I know because it is as plain as just speaking it out loud.
This is not about telling white lies, we all do that. This is about the honest to goodness, you can run but you cannot hide and deny the truth. It is like a piece of gum on your shoe, yes just as annoying if you persist to ignore it. But once you recognise, acknowledge and deal with it, then you find it is not annoying but a conscious action that saves you a lot of time and mess in the long run.
So I welcome in my early twenties (1990), 22 to be precise. i am pregnant with my first child and standing at the ironing board. I see a little girl about 3 or 4 come up and stand there and swing herself around. I recall her dark hair and dress pirouetting with her circular motion before she just disappeared.
I looked down at my basketball bump and went now this is interesting wonder if you are girl? Well 5 months later, May 1990, I gave birth to a dark headed little girl. I do not think I will ever forget that image or experience it was amazing. Somehow, out of nowhere, no thought of wanting to know, but there before it appeared in full sight.
As you can expect with my second pregnancy I was intent on knowing the sex this time. I trotted off to the doctors and was told in no uncertain terms they were unable to tell me. I was like wow then it must be a boy! so I went and purchased boy’s clothes, set the room up to welcome a son and even went on to choose the name.
My senses were heightened each time I was pregnant. I would have the normal hormonal rises and falls combined with my sixth sense reeling me from empathy to starting to open up my new ability of hearing. I could hear sometimes my name being called to hearing music and songs. Not like the truth hearing this was to the point I would have to go an look for a radio or tv that may be one in the house to no avail.
Two weeks prior to giving birth to my second child, I had a dream. I walked down a long jetty and at the end of the jetty was a nurse from the 1940’s. Her hat caught my eye as I walked towards her. Sitting at the end of the jetty the nurse looked up and I could see a baby in her arms. She smiled as i got closer and said to” here is your daughter”
I obviously thought how ridiculous that is! I am having a boy! That is not my child. Well in the November of 1991, I gave birth to my second daughter. The nurse who was in my dream looked similar to my midwife only more in our time or era. That experience taught me that I might choose to not hear what I know is being said but regardless it will not change the outcome that is to be.
1993 rolls around and once again I am expecting my third child. I had sight, hearing and knowing so I was kind of not knowing what to expect this time. I was experiencing a lot of solar plexus activity and the heighten sense of touch. I would get affirmations literally just every time i spoke or heard a conversation. If I walked past people I would feel my sensations heighten and goose bumps appear on my arms, legs, side, back, elbow, head. You name it I would be a walking goose bump.
I could feel on a level I had no true understanding of just knew I would get aches pains or a symptom and the next conversation was where someone was revealing their ailment or complaint. I felt like I was a hypochondriac, psychosomatic or just going out in sympathy with them all.
In a matter of 3 years I had opened my sight, opened my hearing and now was developing touch. My own love affair with the divination was developing into reading and drawn to many ancient and past traditions. It was as if I was recapping my lifetimes and opening up the folds of knowledge I had neatly tucked away until this time in my life.
1995 I had embraced fully my path. The birth of my second son, child number 4. I was reading full time and building my abilities as I went along. I was smelling, mimicking energy and connecting on levels I had not even knew existed until many years down the track. The experiences that happened, the ones words cannot explain and the mind cannot fathom will be forever in my mind. I just felt akin with my path and was ready to take it as far as I could.
My passion for better understanding of what it is that I am experiencing and why I feel so different to other likeminded beings lead my on a search for knowledge. I had already taken up Tarot, which was a gift from a client who was later to become my spiritual mum, my mentor. Her prompting was as the guys upstairs must have planned to bring her in to take me to my next level.
I started to teach two years later the art of tarot. I felt like it was my second skin. To teach, to be able to exchange the knowledge this was so freely given to me. I read as much as I could on the fore fathers of the path. Jane Roberts was my first experience of reading channelled material followed by the literature wonders of Hilarion, exerts of Alice Bailey and peeks into the Madame Blavatsky chronicles. Although I did not fully understand the concept, it was the start of a journey I will be forever grateful.
My purpose was still forming and each growth pattern I experienced and embraced differently. My passion for knowledge, my undeniable ability to push myself to finding the answer, the truth, the why’s! lead me on a path that I feel both blessed and honoured to be a part of and share.
© Carolyn Clairvoyant 2014