We try to figure ourselves out by looking in a house of mirrors, rather than seeking true reflection in the mirror of our souls. After all, we don’t know who we are, and as we try to show up and be real, we look to the faces of others to measure the validity of our own words. Almost looking for others to nod and say you’re right! The reflection on the faces around you steer you to question, judge and label yourself, too weak in self assurance to stand in what others deem wrong. All of which creates more emotions, more confusion, and more self-doubt, so you beat yourself up, wondering what the heck’s wrong with you. You want to scream, please see me! Who am I? Tell me I’m okay, please! But who are any of them to tell you who you are?
So often our words are the exact opposite of our truth. We say we hate, when we love. We say we don’t care, when we care deeply. We run, when we want to fight. We lie, when we can’t stand in the truth. It feels so true when we say it, but it’s so far removed from the truth and we know it. But holding our tongue is not the answer either. We have to muddle through our own vulnerabilities.
It’s okay to tell people how you feel, but don’t confuse it with the truth. Listen to what others say, but don’t take it so personally, they are probably just as confused as you. Look for the suffering in them, to recognize the suffering in yourself. Know that most humans are blind to their own truth and are looking to you for validation of their pretend self as well. The truth is revealed on the faces of others. To see in the eyes of our loved ones and adversaries the pain of loneliness and misunderstanding is to see your own pain. Learn from your world, don’t judge yourself by it.
Why is life so difficult? Why are relationships so painful? What makes us poise ourselves to defend, attack, or escape so naturally, while accepting is so strange, uncomfortable and scary? What makes us think that the pain or unhappiness of those around us is somehow our fault or responsibility? Why are we so afraid to expose ourselves to each other, in our raw and vulnerable truth of confusion and fear? What could possibly have caused us to believe that we were so worthless, or each other so dangerous, that we had to build walls to keep the rest out of these deep places within!? No one hurts me like the people I love have hurt me. But I’ve come far enough in life to know that the problem is me. What we believe to be at risk is not at risk at all. What we believe to be the source of our pain is not the source at all. Nor, if we really understood this, would we be vulnerable to such hurts. It is a collective issue, a universal lie…that we can somehow turn away from ourselves and each other as though we have the option to separate one life from another…when we are really infinitely and eternally connected.
It takes courage and faith to look straight into the mirror, and accept the full picture. To forgive, love and trust that your heart, mind and soul are already perfect in every way. Can you imagine what that would mean? How the world would change in that instance? Love and be patient with yourself as you grow and discover this truth. Courage comes in when we choose to see the beauty in other faces too, and recognize that it takes nothing away from the beauty of you. This simple realization points us in the direction of self love. And as Universal patterns predict…to love ourselves, is to love others and God…
© Lisa Eastman 2012