For much of my life, I truly believed that my thoughts were pretty much beyond my control. They automatically entered my mind and did whatever they wish to do. Even more so, I actually believed that I was my thoughts and thankfully, nothing could be more further from the truth. It was back in November 2005 that I had to undergo a heart procedure which should have been a routine procedure, however my ex-partner and I including the surgeons, doctors and nurses weren’t even prepared for what was about to take place.
After two years of constantly feeling dizzy, faint and fatigue and rigorously visiting doctors, hospitals and even a private hospital and being monitored with ECG machines both at the doctors and at home, they all still seem to come up with the same answer that nothing was wrong. I knew my own body I felt poorly and lost a lot of weight over the two years. I remember I was still working at the time, fetching and carrying heavy carpet samples for a local firm and would often sit on the big pile of sample carpets just to catch my breath and focus after having a horrible dizzy spell.
It took for me to collapse whilst out walking round a local park with my ex-partner before the doctors would actually listen, I remember whilst slipping in and out of consciousness that I was being given an injection to bring my heart rate down as it was beating out of my chest and I found myself up at the local hospital. I was sent home later that evening and was told that I had to do nothing but rest with yet another monitor attached to me. I was also told that I had a major heart default which needed correcting.
What was supposed to be a routine heart procedure in November 2005 actually turned out to be both drastic and unbelievable, as I lay there on the operating table slightly sedated surrounded by equipment that looked like something out of NASA. I was able to see what the surgeons were doing I could even see my own heart beating on a huge screen. The main head surgeon was supposed to do my procedure that day, however he was not able to make it and so a new up and coming surgeon took his place. The new surgeon injected my leg quite a few times before inserting a wire that was surrounded by a white plastic tube into my vain near my artery, however instead of the wire going up into my vain to my heart it snapped off in my vain and I was told to lay still and not move, because if I did the wire could float up into my main organs or my heart.
I remember lying there on my own in the room looking up at the three big lights over my head saying to GOD please give me another chance as I had just received a thirty thousand pound cheque at that time and I remember saying to myself that my health is more important than money you can keep the stupid cheque please make me well. I remember seeing the panicked stricken doctors and surgeons rushing up and down trying to find the right person who could operate on me straight away. I was rushed down the corridors and in and out of lifts. I lay on a bed in the side ward slipping in and out of consciousness slightly sedated and watching all the pandemonium that took place. I only learnt later after my operation that they had to find someone from a different hospital to come and operate on me, which took them an hour to arrive.
By this time I felt myself slipping in and out of consciousness even more and what took place from there was an epiphany for me a day I will never forget. I found myself looking down on the surgeons watching them operate on my body. I found that I was able to hear what they were saying word for word. I remember seeing my ex-partner sat on a chair in the corridor crying. I realised that I could feel people’s emotions I could feel their thoughts. I learnt that we are all linked together and that what we call GOD is energy and that same energy is in each and every one us.
I had an awareness of being linked to something much greater than I could put into words and that we are here to enjoy our life’s and I also had an awareness of my grandma telling me it was not my time and that I had to go back. I learnt that all our beliefs and perceptions stem from this physical realm and in the spiritual realm our potential was unlimited. I realised that it is our thoughts that flow through our minds that trigger an emotion a feeling that was bringing everything into existence and that what we perceive to be past or future was actually happening simultaneously, everything was happening all at once. I realised that we are all part of this mass-consciousness and that our feelings and emotions create our reality, even though we are all here for a purpose we also have free will to do what we want if we choose to go down a different path.
I will never forget that day, I have always had a spiritual side to me, but that day changed my life forever. I became very different and withdrew from many people after what I discovered to be the truth. I didn’t want to mix with what I perceived to be negative people at the time. I seemed to be more interested in my health and being happy in the moment rather than money and material things, which is how I am today. These days I’m outgoing and love living life to the full and always try to teach people the truths without them realising it. I learnt that life is for living and that other people’s beliefs and perceptions actually shape us and take us away from who we truly are - powerful spiritual beings for manifesting.
© Janine Rogerson 2015