I felt drawn to write to you and I hope it’s not a stupid thing to ask but I am happy and in a fairly new relationship with someone I care a lot about but I keep being drawn back to my Ex. I know he is no good for me and he did horrible things but I can’t seem to get him out of my mind sometimes. What advice can you give me please? ....Hannah
Thank you for getting in touch and asking for guidance into this matter. No question is ever stupid, every question matters.
When people ask me about relationships I am always looking at the energy of them, the dynamics, the journey within the journey as I refer to it and this, I feel, is a classic case of a healing journey for you. It is not always easy and it can be a confusing process.
Sometimes during our lives we come into connection with people from past lives, we play a re-enactment of something that has gone on in a previous life but in this life the roles are reversed so that balance can be restored, or we are to experience the polar opposite of what our past life relationship was centred around. Sometimes it can be that in this lifetime we are to experience the loss of that person because they hurt so deeply from losing us in a previous life. Everything is about balance, restoring the equilibrium of life and clearing as we move through the ascension process. I see these ‘soul mate’ connections as serving purpose and almost as if we ‘signed up’ to work through this before we came down here to play.
So, when we look at your specific situation there is a strong pull back to this energy because there is still something to see, something to recognise and something to heal and let go of. Often people from our past pop back in, even if only in thought, to remind us of how things went ‘wrong’ in the past, look at the dynamics of your current relationship is there something playing out, something you are doing or something that is going on that you did in the previous relationship that you need to stop doing? What is the similarity that lies between your Ex and your current partner? Are you secretly still in love with this Ex and deep down there is a need to work through this and heal before you are free to love again?
When it is a soul based connection, often the connection will be ripped apart. This is all part of the soul mate journey. You are not alone is this experience. Everyone will at some point in their lives experience the impact of this level of connection. It is whether their human side will ‘allow’ themselves to experience it. Souls come together to learn and we learn quicker from dis-ease than in a state of happiness. Choose happiness now.
When a soul mate connection has served its purpose there is always a ripping apart, an undoing, as it no longer serves purpose for the two of you to be together. Our human self however often struggles with the sense of loss and clings on to what could have been or what we feel should have been. Our human self is often far more comfortable in the past, no matter how bad it has been, than with the prospect of facing an unknown future. We are not wired for change and our brains see relationships ending as a failing, something the ego does not like to be seen to do, to fail.
My advice would be to observe your pattern of thinking. When things are challenging or asking you to step out of your comfort zone is your mind taking back to the security blanket of the past?
We are in Mercury retrograde. Elements of the past that need to be released will always come up during this time. Pay attention to the connection between your thoughts and the situations you are in when you are thinking about your Ex and learn about your own behaviour in order to free yourself from this pattern. It is time to let go.
Love and blessings