Spiritual, Paranormal & Metaphysical Magazine

Longing Is Not Love

Tori Hartman 01 Aug 2014 comments
Longing Is Not Love

People frequently call into my Blog Talk Radio show and ask when “he” is going to call or show up again. They share about the deep and powerful connection with a guy - and then ask why they’re not together or when they will be. He’s either married (and unhappy) or simply not showing up.

I want to be clear that it’s not about judging anyone here… it’s about really getting the love we desire.

When we create a situation where we long for something, what we really desire is a piece of ourselves that’s missing. When you meet someone who sets your world on its side and is not available - you are the one who is not available.

What is occurring internally will always show up in the world outside. Our inner reality reflects our outer reality.

Being spiritually connected is about being completely present. That does not mean that people don’t feel something similar around someone we long for when they are with them. But the kind of “presence” that uplifts us constantly is what I’m referring to here.

Relationships with sustainable, healthy love embody the magic of discovering your own internal love in external form.

Therefore, when you meet someone who is extraordinary as a companion and is present in a peaceful uplifting way, it is because the love and peace you experience inside is reflected back to you.

So, when someone is in agony and we can feel the palpable desperation and ache of longing, how can that possibly be love? Simple: to that person it is the only way that they ever got any love in the past. They were required to give themselves up for a parent or guardian to get love. And they were trained to wait, to put themselves last in order to get anything.

When we experience panic and longing for love we are reaching outside for a piece of ourselves that’s missing.

In essence it’s only a desire to protect ourselves from being hurt that has created circumstances that has kept some people from sustainable love. As long as one is in longing, then love always appears possible. But once you take a risk - it can be lost. Or can it?

Here’s the psychic rub: How do you tell a client, desperate hear that the “one” is around the corner, that they will never find externally anything to fill an internal ache. Any relationship formed from the intensity of wanting (or lack), will never be enough. When you’re in the middle of that kind of energy, it is almost always impossible to see it, but it’s easy to spot in others.

So the answer to the cosmic question “when will I find love?” becomes very simple. You will find love when you choose to experience love. If you are in the state of “when will he show up,” you have chosen the state “when will he show up.” Energetically that’s what you will attract.

When you experience love internally, it absolutely must show up externally. Therefore, the only reason it does not show up is because you are seeking it outside yourself to fill an inner ache.

© Tori Hartman 2014

Tori Hartman

Tori Hartman

After a near-death experience, Tori’s visitations from Angels resulted in a series of fables. Once rejected by all major publishers, Joel Fotinas, friend and publisher at Tarcher Books told Tori no one would “get” this project and she’d have to self-publish. Thus began the journey of the Color Wisdom Cards and their subsequent publication. Tori was told over and over again that no one buys books at the London Book Fair - they only sell foreign rights. She decided that since she was foreign, it would work. Tori was offered a book deal by Watkins Publishing Limited, in the UK

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